Prevent weight gain by “loosening” your bowels

In today’s world, everyone wants to lose weight. And those that feel they don’t have any time to eat right, go to the gym, or just exercise, rely on weight loss pills.

One of these fascinating pills that help you shred the fat, is alli. alli, is a “fat absorption” medication. When you ingest any fat, alli absorbs it and helps it pass right through you, but, of course, it’s not that simple. On their website, alli calls these “treatment effects”. Now, let me explain what “treatment effects” are compared to side effects. Side effects are what happens based on what the FDA found through testing with voluntary patients and don’t necessarily happen to everyone. Treatment effects pretty much happen to everyone and should be expected. So what are these fascinating “treatment effects” of alli?

“gas with oily spotting”
This treatment effect may (or may not) sound like to you what it’s really trying to say. “Gas with oily spotting” is involuntary flatulence that happens to be a bit wet and will spot your underwear, that’s to put it the clean way, well maybe not that clean…

“loose stools”
As if nearly shitting yourself wasn’t bad enough, you will also have loose stools. This should be obvious, but I’ll explain. This is stage 1 in diarrhea. And to add insult to injury..
“more frequent stools that may be hard to control”
Okay, sharting now looks quite well since, according to alli, you will be officially shitting yourself! And combine this with loose stools, you now have explosive diarrhea.

alli even describes what they believe your anal leakage to look like, and if you’re eating pizza, stop now. And if you only stopped eating it now, we’re at the end of the article, so that’s kinda delayed.. But I digress.
alli describes this as, well, here’s a quote from their website: “You may recognize it as something that looks like the oil on top of a pizza.” Yup, that’s a real quote, a real nasty quote that has officially ruined the upcoming pizza party at work for this writer.

So, celery sticks and a half mile jog every other day is looking pretty good, isn’t it?

Also, a quick fyi, alli isn’t a prescription drug. It’s a dumbed down version of another, more powerful drug, which I’m scared to learn the side effects of…


One response to “Prevent weight gain by “loosening” your bowels

  1. Simply desire to say your article is as astonishing.
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